Beauty

I love beautiful things.  I told my friend Jane, after talking about a handsome man,  for me, looking at a man is like looking at anything beautiful.  I like looking  at my garden, appreciating the beauty in the flowers ,  the birds. I like the sounds and smells of them.  I like looking at everything, old cars, beautiful homes, you name it.  What I think is beautiful doesn't always impress other people. I find Tom Bergeron  irresistible,   and I  am not sure  exactly why that is, other than he makes me laugh, he makes these funny silly faces.
There is not a litmus test for beauty.  Beauty is a million little things!

While raising my daughter, I wanted to be sure that she felt beautiful. She really is.  But I also know how hard it is for women to accept their own beauty, in whatever form it lies. From the time she was a tot, I have told her how beautiful she was, and I meant every word. She has these amazing blue eyes, framed by beautiful dark lashes.  She  has a little dimple when she smiles, just like her daddy.  As she has grown, she has taken my breath away with the sheer gorgeousness of her,  her laugh, her  physical beauty, her intelligence, humor, talent and  strength..

It is really hard for me to watch her struggle with her self image  now. To me, she is stunning, yet she compares herself to other girls she can never, and shouldn't ever want to be. I was that way when  I was her age, and for much longer.  I thought that beauty in a girl was a tiny frame, big breasts, perfect skin.  Even after I met Chris, my very own freckle faced beauty,  I spent too many  of  our married  years  wondering when he would realize he made a big mistake.   I just didn't see what he did.

The past three years working with a building full of  wonderful women  has helped  me accept the beauty that is in me. I used to think  working with so many women would be horrible, that I would find that I was inferior, that they would look at me with the same eyes that I saw myself. An amazing thing happened. I met all of these women, and learned that we had so much in common!  The woman I thought was spectacularly beautiful or amazingly talented or kind, they  were generous with their compliments, and the sharing of what it means to be a woman, a wife, a mother. The ones I thought were the most stunning shared the same insecurities that I had.

I am going on  now, like I do when I start talking.  But  I think what I want to say, if you are a mother,  remember that your child looks at you as the most beautiful thing in the world.  Don't berate yourself. Your child will listen, and she will take that to heart.  When she is old enough, she will look at herself and remember your self criticism  and find herself wanting.

If you are a dad, or brother, or just friend,  remember  to appreciate out loud all the things you find beautiful in a woman, not just the physical..  Your daughter, sister , friend hears that and judges herself by your words too.

I had a substitute teacher tell me this year  that my smile lit up the whole room.  She went on about it for a while, and even though I was embarrassed, I floated on cloud nine for the rest of the day. I will never be petite, I'm never going to be Angelina Jolie.  But, I am beautiful.  And  my sweet baby girl, you are too.