crybaby

I  moved  my boy into college on Thursday.  I did really well, and I hardly cried at all.  I did a little bit when I was putting his stuff in the van, but only  Chris saw me, and he didn't tell.   Jeff was  so nervous, and when we took him to breakfast, he was pretty shook up.   When we got to school, he wanted me to go with him to fill out paperwork, while his dad waited for the golf cart to unload the stuff out of the van.

As we were about done, it was clear Jeff was feeling a little better, and he let us know we could go whenever we were ready! LOL.  I gave him a big hug, and still, I didn't cry.


Anyone who knows me,  this was a monumental feat for someone who cries at cartoons and commercials, who cries when she is sad, happy and angry, and everything in between.

I didn't cry Friday. Jeff was happy and having a great time.
I didn't cry Saturday. Jeff was making new friends, and staying out WAY too late.

Then today.  Well, so much for the not crying thing!  We got up early, got ready for Church. We  sat behind Sam and Courtney at Mass, (his friends) and Courtney's family.  That was cool. I said hi to the girls.
At some point after Mass started, my little Joshua  was snuggling up next to me, and he put his little face in my arm, and looked up at me  with a sad face and said, " I miss Jeff."  I  told him, I miss him too.

  TA DA!!   In front of a couple hundred people, my eyeballs decided it was a good time to leak.
I didn't even have a tissue. I had to go to the bathroom to get some toilet paper because my sniffles were getting on MY nerves!  (TWICE)

You might think it was just that cute little Josh, with his  watery eyes, that did me in.  You would be partially right. But really, Joshua just felt first what was missing from out picture.  Jeff hasn't really wanted to hang with us for a while. He is eighteen after all, and being with friends is much more fun, whether in person, or online.  But the one time a week when we are always together is on Sunday when we go to Church together.  There are very few times when we go without him.  Then the stupid  Music director for the church HAD to play America the Beautiful.

The last few times  the song has been accompanied by Jeff on the trumpet.  It is one of the reasons I stopped grumbling about playing a patriotic song at church instead of a song praising God.

No trumpet.
No Jeff.

It just did't feel  right today.  I am going to have to get over  the fact that Jeff is moving on with his life.

We will always be a family of five , but all five of us are not always going to be together~!