Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Barrel of laughs...





Every morning since school let out, I get my tushie up at about 6:30, slam down a coffee, strap my phone to my arm and head outside for my walk.  I can't believe that I stuck to it this long, but it is awesome, and I think I could actually turn into a morning person!  Well, lately, I have noticed that the walking is not really taking much effort anymore.  I walk about four miles, and I get a little sweaty but it has stopped feeling like work. I have talked to friends about starting a running/ jogging program, and I have been given some good advice and some apps to start out.

So this morning, I thought what the heck, I can walk, and do some jogging  in between just to get my heart rate up.

That is when the fun began.

Here's the deal.  I got me a  ghetto booty.  When I walk, I can feel some rockin' and rollin'  going on back there. Whatever, you don't like it don't look at it. I don't think about it too much any more.  However this morning when I started to run,  I could feel that thing, and I was sure that at some point it might try to separate from my body.  Are you kidding me!?  I got nice walking pants that hold things pretty well, but I'm telling you, my hiney has a mind of its own!  To add to my posterior predicament, the sun was at my back but to the side a bit, throwing a long distorted shadow in front of me.  I am pretty sure my ass was taunting me, because I  think I saw it waving at me in the shadow!   Think that is going to make an awesome cartoon later! (Chris' suggestion!)

I really had to stop jogging then.  I was torn between distress at people seeing my butt doing its own Macarena, and amusement at at my shadow's, um, liveliness!  That got me to giggle instead of jiggle, and then I wondered what people driving by thought of my walking along laughing.  I mean, people aren't supposed to look happy when they work out, right?  That made it worse.  I just couldn't help it, I had a fit of giggles. That is not good for keeping up a good calorie burning pace!   I started to wonder as I walked, what I could wear that would cover some of that bounce.  And being in the ridiculous mood I am in this morning, the first  thing that popped into my head was a box, or maybe a barrel, you know the ones with the suspenders?  I am pretty sure the barrel idea is out, since that  barrel would bounce too and likely smack me in the face.  It might also leave some splinters, since wood is not really meant for exercise comfort.   Not to mention if I trip and fall (hey, I did that on the treadmill remember)  then I might end up rolling around  helplessly, which would  probably be more embarrassing than a  a little  wiggle!  Oh yeah, think I burned more calories laughing than I did from the walk.

I did my google search on running with an ass like Beyonce  (yeah, I wish,but it has potential!) and my options are grim.  I could wear spandex two sizes too small, in which case my ass would simmer down, but  the paramedics would probably frown on having to bring me oxygen every morning.  I'd have to check out the medics first, it might be worth it!  The other option was a running skirt, which I guess i could do, but the legs might become an issue.  Maybe I could pull off the leggings with the skirt look? Its not really my cup of tea, but  probably an improvement over the barrel idea!!

Until then, my adventures with jogging may take place on the treadmill gathering dust in the basement!

I hope everyone has a super fantabulous day full of your own giggle moments!